Who else is pro-wife beating!

Well its been a bit since my last entry, so lets just jump right in with some talk of violence. Wife beating, spousal abuse, what ever you want to call it. The question here is, is it wrong? Now I know this sounds like a stupid question. But of course its wrong, right? I mean how could being physically violent with someone be right? Well for that answer you have to not be an idiot, and remove the word physically from that last sentence.

Lets take a moment to examine male vs female traits. At their core, although plenty of bull dyke's and fema-nazis would bunch their panties, females are the "weaker" of the two. With common traits being social/co-operative in nature such as group problem solving, outward compassion, hyper verbalization and the like. Females are very much wired to be social creatures and work within a group of semi-equals. It is not uncommon to have one pack leader, but typically no more than that, and even that position is not absolute with frequent discussions and disagreements with leadership. Situations are worked out in group think.

Now this is all very obvious and well known, that part wasn't written as much as education as mental orientation. Look at those traits, its well known that women work better in a group. Males on the other hand, well their groups tend to be slightly different. Men hold things like disrespect and loyalty to be much more than fleeting thoughts, as considered by their counterparts. Men have very clear hierarchy within their ranks, from high man down to low man, everyone is classed. Dissension within the ranks is rarely accepted, and while disagreement is welcomed, final say is absolute with the alpha.

These are just a few pattern traits, now lets examine one very specific trait, violence. What constitutes violence to women? How do they act out agenst each other? Do they claw, bite, pull hair? Not really no, on the contrary it is very unlikely for a female orientated dispute to erupt into physical violence. Female violence takes on the place of female orientated traits. There will be name calling, passive aggressive actions, back biting, and the ever popular, bitching. At this point if you are unfamiliar with, or are unwilling to accept the presence of these items in the real world, and womens use of them as tools then stop reading now as you are too deep in the rabbit hole to see the light so to speak.

Ok lets look at the other side of the coin, male pattern traits as they relate to violence. Men are much more direct in their actions. Male aggression would be more seen as physical posturing, short and direct threats, and of course physical violence. There are a few key differences to note here, and I will point out that these finer points are completely un-understood by females. Men do not find it uncommon that after a fight, the two combatants would laugh, pat each other on the back, and possibly even hug (though rarely as thats not manly), this stems from the root of the violence itself. Men test themselves and pair off physically, women pair off and test themselves verbally.

Lets look real close at that last sentence now with a real world example. Woman comes home, shes had a bad day for whatever reason, she starts to yell and piss and moan. Now as males in the current age, we are expected to tuck our balls between our legs and let her vent, after all we are the stronger (a nice double standard there eh?) and its not like shes actually hurting you right? Take a look at some decent information regarding this issue, of particular interest are the definitions.

Why don't we play that scenario back using a different set of formula. Lets have the man be the aggressor and replace the wife with a male friend. Male comes home, friend is not doing much, playing a video game perhaps, male stomps around and grumbles walking right in front of the screen and pausing for a moment (this is a direct passive aggressive action designed to provoke a fight) friend replies with some angry outburst (short direct threats) along the lines of move your butt or the like, male gets the trigger he was looking for and turns yelling about some random item, the important part is body position however (posturing) friend stands as a fight is imminent (more posturing) and after a moment one of them (traditionally the primary aggressor, male in this case) takes a swing. This may go on for a few moments, or a few minuets depending on back issues. The fight ends and both dust each other, one says hes sorry he over reacted, and life moves on.

Now enter the confusion, the explanation, and the problem. For my entire life (turned 30 two days ago) I have been told that male traits were wrong, aggression was evil, I should sever my penis and live life as a more enlightened woman.... blah blah blah, its really quite scathing. The confusion comes in that while women know they are attacking men, they don't understand why they are hit more often than not. Well its because you provoked a response. Heres the visual as above, as seen through the eyes of a man, and what should happen under typical circumstances had we not been told it is not Ok to be masculine. Woman comes home, starts bitching (verbal threats), man responds to the benign comments (verbal threats), woman seeing the man entering into a verbal match continues to escalate the assault (verbal threats, posturing), man responds by moving within strike range (heavy posturing), woman responds to her threat of personal space by becoming very animated (reciprocated heavy posturing), and finally woman is hit. Now the man is angrier than normal for a few reasons. First she questioned his authority, second she did not heed his warnings, and third she was unqualified for the battle she provoked. That last one is interesting, consider a bee stings you, now you could just pluck it off and send it on its way, however the normal response is one much more primal, a subconscious "how dare a pathetic thing like you attack me", which is often followed quickly by a quick death on the part of the bee. Its that last one why two men can fight and become friends, a man hits a woman and continues to strike her. The very idea of an unqualified fight is insulting.

See the underlying problem here is miscommunication, and a horrible double standard. As long as emotional violence and physical violence are not seen on the same level, and as long as males are shown to be the horrible overlords and suppressors of women, we are going to have this problem. In short, my current view on this is that the vast majority of spousal abuse cases are completely warranted. As I often say, if you jump into a lions cage covered in bloody meat, don't get upset when you become dinner.